These 10 Subconscious Behaviors are Stopping You from Having the life You Want


In our journey through life, we often find ourselves caught in the grip of subconscious behaviors that hinder us from achieving the lives we truly desire. These behaviors are deeply ingrained, stemming from a societal “monoculture” that shapes our beliefs and perceptions. While the original list introduces eight common patterns, it’s crucial to acknowledge that these can manifest in various ways and degrees in different individuals.

Let’s dive deeper into each pattern to understand how they can restrict personal growth and what alternative paths can be taken to forge a life that aligns more closely with one’s aspirations.


The tendency to ruminate on problems or decisions can be paralyzing. It’s a pattern where the mind gets trapped in an endless loop of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. While cautious reflection is beneficial, overthinking leads to inaction and increased anxiety. To combat this, practice mindfulness and set clear time limits for decision-making. Embrace the ethos of progress, not perfection.

Fear of Failure

Many of us are afraid to step out of our comfort zones due to the fear that we might fail. This pattern is reinforced by a society that often stigmatizes failure rather than viewing it as a stepping stone to success. To break free from this, acknowledge that failure is a natural part of the learning process and embrace it as a valuable experience that contributes to growth.


In our quest for flawlessness, we may actually impede our ability to achieve success. Perfectionism can lead to procrastination and a sense of dissatisfaction. To overcome perfectionism, redefine success as doing your best rather than being the best and recognize the beauty in imperfection.

Negative Self-Talk

The critical inner voice can be a destructive force, often a product of our environment and past experiences. This pattern can undermine self-esteem and limit our potential. To challenge negative self-talk, engage in positive affirmations and surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

The Comparison Trap

With the prevalence of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our lives to the edited highlights of others. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. To avoid this pattern, focus on personal goals and achievements and practice gratitude for your unique journey.

Aversion to Risk

Sometimes, the path to our dreams requires taking calculated risks. However, if we’re conditioned to always play it safe, we may miss out on significant opportunities. To counter this tendency, weigh the potential benefits and downsides of taking a risk and remind yourself that without some level of risk, there can be no reward.


Life’s current can be strong, and without active steering, you may end up where the current takes you rather than where you wish to go. Passivity can result in missed opportunities and regrets. Cultivate an active mindset where you take deliberate actions towards your goals and reclaim control over the direction of your life.

Instant Gratification

In a world of instant access, patience is a virtue that seems to be diminishing. The desire for immediate pleasure can lead to impulsive decisions that sabotage long-term goals. To address this pattern, practice delayed gratification and invest time in activities that contribute to your future success.

Each of these patterns points to a larger narrative about the power of self-awareness and intentional action in creating a fulfilling life. By recognizing and actively working to modify these patterns, we can better steer our lives toward the outcomes we desire. It takes both courage and effort to break free from the hold of these subconscious behaviors, but the rewards can be transformative, leading to a more empowered and authentic existence.

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